Do you find yourself feeling like you’re sinking deeper into the quicksand of life, day after day? The more you struggle, the deeper you sink?
You’re not even sure how you got here: it was a slow descent but now you can’t move. You’re powerless, your breath comes in ragged gasps and you can’t see how the heck you’re going to be able to climb your way out. There are no life lines, no one else can save you, there are only slow painful actions that can save you from yourself.
That’s right – you’re STUCK.
We’ve been there darlings. OMG, have we been there!
It’s natural to find yourself stuck every so often – both in business and in life. You’ve spent so much time and energy in the trenches, a tunnel with seemingly no light at the end, over-analysing and over-working, without any perspective on where you’re at.
The feeling of stuckness can be so real and so painful. BUT – we’ve personally found, over and over again, that from those awful, frustrating depths of stuck, comes the most magical progress and growth. Because only when it becomes too painful to stay where you are, do you get the courage to move forward.
Below, we’ve created a roadmap to help you navigate the process of getting unstuck, to help move forward when you need it most.
[ Here’s a tasty tip for you: Step 5 is the magic bullet ]
Step 1: Identify 🔍
If you’re stuck, you’re probably suffering from Analysis Paralysis – your thoughts and emotions are going around in circles and you can’t seem to make sense of any of it.
There’s a reason you feel stuck, and the first step to getting unstuck, is to do the deep work, and get to the bottom of that reason. Until you identify it and sit next to it at the table, you won’t be able to befriend it and debunk it.
Usually when you’re stuck, it’s one (or all) of 3 things:
- You’re overwhelmed
You only see the mountain looming above you and aren’t sure how on earth to tackle it. “Everyone else makes it seem so easy, so what’s wrong with me?” - You’re scared (Imposter Syndrome)
You’ve lost confidence in yourself and your abilities. It’s easier to hide than put yourself on the line. “Who the hell am I to do this? I don’t know anything, I’m no good!” - You’re confused
You’re lacking clarity about what it is that you actually want, so instead you’re focussing on everything you DON’T want. (And probably attracting more of that) 😉
“Why am I doing this?? It’s all so hard and for what??”
Know that whatever it is, it’s COMPLETELY natural to feel this way! Your subconscious is trained to keep you safe, it’s always going to yell at you when you’re venturing too far into the wilderness. It sends you warning voices that convince you that hiding in the cave is safer than venturing out with the lions.
But, this is the one time where your subconscious is wrong (that doesn’t happen very often!). Fear isn’t required here. Trust your gut that the only way to grow and achieve your lofty goals is by taking actions towards them. Leave the cave!
Hold tight. This is only going to hurt a little.
Step 2: Get clear on your endgame 🏆
Everything comes back to this, always. In order to achieve your goals, you actually need to have goals. Duh.
Goals make us accountable. They give us a final destination to work towards, an image in your head of how you want things to look.
Your goals should be aligned with your highest values and don’t just have to relate to your business. They should relate to all areas of your life: your family, relationships, finances, development, spirituality, health. When these goals tie in and support each other, it’s easier to integrate them into your days.
But remember – goals evolve. Check up on your goals. Just because you set some goals a while back doesn’t mean that they’re still relevant. Things change, business changes, YOU change. As you grow and develop and evolve, so should your goals.
The key to setting goals is to keep them finite, achievable and within a specific time-frame. Focus on the outcome, not all the things that it will take to get there, or stand in your way.
Setting 3-6 month goals keep them manageable and accountable, such as: make R100,000 in my business by June. Reach 4,500 business women on Instagram by November.
Step 3: Openness 🎈
One of the biggest lessons we’ve learned in this process of getting stuck, is that you sometimes need to stop fighting the quicksand.
We’re so used to moving and thrashing and pushing forward, that often we can’t see that the best thing we could do is to just stop. Wait. Listen. Sometimes through the quiet, the answers make themselves apparent. Sometimes the answer was in front of us all this time, we had just stopped seeing the faint outlines of possibility.
Often what we’re fighting so hard for doesn’t look exactly how we expected it to – you have to breathe and allow some room for magic. It’s not easy to shift your mindset from hustle to surrender. Take a dollop of courage and stir in a spoonful of trust.
And now work for it.
Step 4: Boundaries ✋🏽
To get yourself out of Analysis Paralysis, you need to draw a line in the (quick)sand. You need minimal distractions, you need to put yourself first, and you need to start saying NO.
- No to time-wasters.
- No to social media accounts that make you doubt yourself.
- No to energy sappers.
- No to mundane conversations that don’t light you up.
- No to people and duties that demand your time and attention, yet don’t serve your goals. ‘Bye Felicia!’.
You are the only one who is going to get you to where you want to be, and you have to set yourself up for success. You need boundaries upon boundaries, and you need to make you and your goals your main priority. So, unless it’s a HELL YES! It’s a HARD NO.
You don’t need to justify yourself, NO is a complete sentence.
Step 5: Action 💃🏻
***Action creates clarity***
We cannot stress that enough. Your goals are NOTHING without showing up everyday in any kind of way. This is the exact point at which your stuckness will shift to progress.
You can think and wish and dream and write all you want, but until you take one (JUST ONE!) step towards your goal, you are no different from anyone else. You are a dreamer with a dream and that is all.
The easiest way to be in action is to trick yourself into it. Wake up in the morning and before you get the chance to talk yourself out of it, take one tiny step towards your goals. Start with the smallest, easiest thing on you to do list – and you guessed it – DO IT. Tick it off! Prove to your mind that you are a doer, not a dreamer.
Find things that shift you and get you into the high vibrational space that helps you overcome doubt and Stuckness, be it exercise, listening to inspiring podcasts (Impact Theory is great for this), and if all else fails, turn on your favorite air-punching ass-shaking song and DANCE! Move, sing, shout and shift yourself into the mindset that you need.
And the best part? The more you Do The Things, and Achieve The Goals, the easier it gets. You start feeling better, your self-worth will increase and soon you’ll forget all about your fears and your quicksand because you’ve moved so far away from it. You’re debunking your doubts and fears everyday by just DOING.
Remember that momentum is exponential, and great things never came from inside your comfort zone.